The wait...

The wait to see our baby girls face once we were on the waitlist was 11 months. I wish I could say that I did that wait graciously with total faith in the Lord's timing and that I am a new women and learned so much from waiting so patiently but that just wouldn't be true. There were days especially in the end where it wasn't pretty. I knew there was nothing I could do to make our referral happen faster but I tried. Some days were good and I had more faith. Other days I was mad, sad, frustrated and confused. I didn't understand why Heavenly Father couldn't see that we needed a referral right away and that we had waited long enough and condsidering it was me, I had waited pretty darn patiently (at least up until Decemberish) But the thing I didn't realize... or didn't take the time to truley realize, until I saw her face and felt all that I felt for her, was that my Heavenly Father is perfect, he has perfect timing and knows all. Baby E couldn't be referred to us until the exact day that she was and I wish I had had more faith and patience. I used to read people's blogs who had adopted and they would always say the wait was so worth it when they saw their childs face. I knew it would be great to see our girls face but didn't think it would take away my bitterness in the long wait we had. I was wrong and now I know her story I see why it happend the way it did. She is perfect for our family. People who have been to HH and seen baby E will tell me little stories about her, this helps me get to know her personality and everything about her so far reminds me of either Jgirl or Jboy or M as a baby. I love it. I have seen pictures of other baby girls at HH and they are just cute babies, none of them stir the same feeling as baby E, she is ours. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for not answering my prayers and giving us our referral in His time and according to His plan. I am praying for help to apply this lesson to our Court date and Embassy appointements.